Rhino, Thank you so much for your comment on my storybook introduction post this week. I really appreciated hearing different thoughts on the direction that I could take my storybook. I have always thought that it would be interesting if animals could speak, but never thought about incorporating that into my storybook. I definitely think I am going to include it after your suggestion this week. Thank you again for taking the time to read through my work and provide feedback, I appreciate it.
Hi there! I read "The Journey" story in your portfolio. First off, I would like to suggest breaking up your paragraph into smaller ones. It looks kind of daunting when you are faced with a giant paragraph and it would really help with flow and knowing where each topic starts and ends. The beginning was very good, in my opinion. It really hooked me in especially when you wrote, "you aren't like the others are you?" I read your author's note and you said you wanted to keep the reader interested by being cryptic and I think you did a good job in doing that. I think some things you can work on is little grammar mistakes. For example, "Of course, not, you were chosen from the beginning." I always have little mistakes too, but these are easily fixed for the most part! Great job on the story. Can't wait to see you add more!
Rhino, Thank you so much for your comment on my storybook introduction post this week. I really appreciated hearing different thoughts on the direction that I could take my storybook. I have always thought that it would be interesting if animals could speak, but never thought about incorporating that into my storybook. I definitely think I am going to include it after your suggestion this week. Thank you again for taking the time to read through my work and provide feedback, I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I read "The Journey" story in your portfolio. First off, I would like to suggest breaking up your paragraph into smaller ones. It looks kind of daunting when you are faced with a giant paragraph and it would really help with flow and knowing where each topic starts and ends. The beginning was very good, in my opinion. It really hooked me in especially when you wrote, "you aren't like the others are you?" I read your author's note and you said you wanted to keep the reader interested by being cryptic and I think you did a good job in doing that. I think some things you can work on is little grammar mistakes. For example, "Of course, not, you were chosen from the beginning." I always have little mistakes too, but these are easily fixed for the most part! Great job on the story. Can't wait to see you add more!
ReplyDelete