The Journey
By Gene Selkov
Hello, Human.
I see you sitting in front of your computer screen. You thought this was just
another homework assignment, but it isn't. Don't be alarmed. You are not going
crazy. The pages of this book speak only to the chosen few. You are exactly
where you should be. It was predestined that I would speak to you on this day
and this time. I am going to tell you the story. You will hear others tell it
differently, but this is what you need to hear today.
Hello, Human.
I see you sitting in front of your computer screen. You thought this was just
another homework assignment, but it isn't. Don't be alarmed. You are not going
crazy. The pages of this book speak only to the chosen few. You are exactly
where you should be. It was predestined that I would speak to you on this day
and this time. I am going to tell you the story. You will hear others tell it
differently, but this is what you need to hear today.
By: Nimish Gogri
We have been watching you. We were with you as you
grew. We were the reason you chose to take this course at the
University of Oklahoma. Have you ever wondered why you picked this course? Why
not another? Do you feel the call in your heart? Craving something, but you
can't quite name what it is? Have you not noticed the differences between you
and your peers? You are more in-tune with your surroundings and maybe a little
quicker than your friends. You could have met the same non-western civilization
requirements by reading the Greek myths. Do you think it was by accident that
you read this blog? Of course not, you were chosen from the beginning. I know
what you are wondering: you want to know who I am. I have had many names
throughout the ages. Try not to think about that right now. Don't worry, we
will get to that soon enough. Just call me Vast. I will put pictures in your
mind to better understand who I am. For now, let's talk about your destiny. The
greatest part of the human experience is discovering one's personal journey. I
would never deprive you of that joy. We have been clearing your path since the
beginning, and now is your time. You appear to be confused. Good, I am
accomplishing what I came here to do.
We have been watching you. We were with you as you
grew. We were the reason you chose to take this course at the
University of Oklahoma. Have you ever wondered why you picked this course? Why
not another? Do you feel the call in your heart? Craving something, but you
can't quite name what it is? Have you not noticed the differences between you
and your peers? You are more in-tune with your surroundings and maybe a little
quicker than your friends. You could have met the same non-western civilization
requirements by reading the Greek myths. Do you think it was by accident that
you read this blog? Of course not, you were chosen from the beginning. I know
what you are wondering: you want to know who I am. I have had many names
throughout the ages. Try not to think about that right now. Don't worry, we
will get to that soon enough. Just call me Vast. I will put pictures in your
mind to better understand who I am. For now, let's talk about your destiny. The
greatest part of the human experience is discovering one's personal journey. I
would never deprive you of that joy. We have been clearing your path since the
beginning, and now is your time. You appear to be confused. Good, I am
accomplishing what I came here to do.
I want to tell you the sacred story. I see you have a question
burning inside you. Save your questions. . . only time will answer those. Maybe
the story happened and maybe it didn't. Hidden within these pages is the answer
to your query. What question, you wonder? Surely you must be joking. Stop
wasting my time! The question all humans are asking. The question your
existence sets into motion and cries out from the moment you were born. The
question on your parents' face when they looked at you in amazement for the
first time. The question on your confused face as you listen to my story. Have
you ever wondered why you are here? The answer to that question waits at the
end of your personal journey. It is the only path to finding your true self.
Pay attention because I will never repeat the story again.
By: National Optical Astronomy Observatory
We need to awaken a part of
you that sleeps. It all started when an old friend of mine wanted to
help humanity. He became flesh and walked among the humans. He was flawless in
his nature. This is the nature of our kind. At your rebirth, we placed the
definition of virtue in your heart.
We need to awaken a part of
you that sleeps. It all started when an old friend of mine wanted to
help humanity. He became flesh and walked among the humans. He was flawless in
his nature. This is the nature of our kind. At your rebirth, we placed the
definition of virtue in your heart.
By: Triet Do
Though my
friend had ultimate power, rebirth through the flesh removes all memory of previous
lives. It was as if he was born anew. Let’s just call him Rama for now. This
was great fun for him. To be able to learn new things, experience the emotions
of the humans without knowledge of what’s to come next. Honestly, I don’t know
how you poor creatures manage. He came for one purpose, but he had to remember
that purpose before he could find his personal journey. The process was not
without risk. We knew that if he did not accomplish his journey in the very few
years he had as a human, he would be lost forever in the Sea of Neveremeber
which is just south of Oblivion. This grey swirling mass is where doubt and fear
were spawned. No being has ever been strong enough to swim out of the currents
of the Neveremember undertow. Such is the fate of all that do not accomplish
their journey. Trapped in their own mind lost in the undercurrents of doubt and
remorse. They cannot find peace. The path now hidden, they cannot find
themselves.
Though my
friend had ultimate power, rebirth through the flesh removes all memory of previous
lives. It was as if he was born anew. Let’s just call him Rama for now. This
was great fun for him. To be able to learn new things, experience the emotions
of the humans without knowledge of what’s to come next. Honestly, I don’t know
how you poor creatures manage. He came for one purpose, but he had to remember
that purpose before he could find his personal journey. The process was not
without risk. We knew that if he did not accomplish his journey in the very few
years he had as a human, he would be lost forever in the Sea of Neveremeber
which is just south of Oblivion. This grey swirling mass is where doubt and fear
were spawned. No being has ever been strong enough to swim out of the currents
of the Neveremember undertow. Such is the fate of all that do not accomplish
their journey. Trapped in their own mind lost in the undercurrents of doubt and
remorse. They cannot find peace. The path now hidden, they cannot find
themselves.
By: The Hubble Telescope
Who can
avoid the undertow of The Neverember without finding the courage to take this path?
Ah, but what a fantastic adventure awaits those that travel journey’s path.
Rama passed through many tests to gain the experience needed to remember
himself. Have you not heard of the many demons overcame in days past?
Have you not heard of the great love shared by him and the beautiful Sita? Have
you not heard the many battles fought and won?
I have a task for you. The quest
is much too difficult for a normal human but by now, you must realize that you
have more ability than your peers. Perhaps you are special, perhaps you will be
killed within the hour. Either way, you will be on the path to
self-realization. Will you point your toes in the direction of the unknown and the path untraveled? Will you ignore your destiny? Will you swim with the cowards in
Neveremeber for all time? Do not continue to read if you are faint at heart. Many perils await those that take the path. You must decide right now!
Who can
avoid the undertow of The Neverember without finding the courage to take this path?
Ah, but what a fantastic adventure awaits those that travel journey’s path.
Rama passed through many tests to gain the experience needed to remember
himself. Have you not heard of the many demons overcame in days past?
Have you not heard of the great love shared by him and the beautiful Sita? Have
you not heard the many battles fought and won?
I have a task for you. The quest
is much too difficult for a normal human but by now, you must realize that you
have more ability than your peers. Perhaps you are special, perhaps you will be
killed within the hour. Either way, you will be on the path to
self-realization. Will you point your toes in the direction of the unknown and the path untraveled? Will you ignore your destiny? Will you swim with the cowards in
Neveremeber for all time? Do not continue to read if you are faint at heart. Many perils await those that take the path. You must decide right now!
Author's Note: This
story is the first part of a series that I plan on adding episodes as my
portfolio evolves. I am setting up the story as if Rama was just another story
about a thing that happens every once in a while. The gods just need to send a
savior to humanity to give them a guide and hero to have a person to look
toward for moral mentor-ship, and Rama was one of these divine beings. It is
supposed to be cryptic. I wanted to make the reader interested by being cryptic
and making them guess what I am talking about but to be wrong as the stories
develop. I love the kind of movies that spin and twist the plot. I am setting up a story with
end in mind and was hoping to pull from other legends to give it a familiar
feel while hoping I can surprise the reader by being predictable until the big
spin comes. This is the set-up for the next story. The next story should start
to get into the quest and use the same layout as the Ramayana. Destiny has
people placed on a path and they are predestined to meet and change the
direction of the story in some way.
Author's Note: This
story is the first part of a series that I plan on adding episodes as my
portfolio evolves. I am setting up the story as if Rama was just another story
about a thing that happens every once in a while. The gods just need to send a
savior to humanity to give them a guide and hero to have a person to look
toward for moral mentor-ship, and Rama was one of these divine beings. It is
supposed to be cryptic. I wanted to make the reader interested by being cryptic
and making them guess what I am talking about but to be wrong as the stories
develop. I love the kind of movies that spin and twist the plot. I am setting up a story with
end in mind and was hoping to pull from other legends to give it a familiar
feel while hoping I can surprise the reader by being predictable until the big
spin comes. This is the set-up for the next story. The next story should start
to get into the quest and use the same layout as the Ramayana. Destiny has
people placed on a path and they are predestined to meet and change the
direction of the story in some way.
Bibliography: Ramanyanna
Public Domain
Right away, your story grabbed my attention—the way you addressed the reader directly (and smashed through the fourth wall by mentioning the homework assignment) was a ton of fun. The speech itself almost felt like something that could’ve come from The Matrix, and I’m curious to see how the Indian angle mingles with that vibe. The way you introduced the concept of the post’s photos was really cool: I love the idea of some ancient, omniscient being transmitting pictures directly to the brain in an attempt to communicate on a deeper, gut level (and speaking of which, the range in the different types of pictures was great too, and communicated that impression of “something more” better than anything else could’ve). I’m definitely curious to see how this evolves and leads up to the ending you’ve got in mind!
ReplyDeleteIn terms of constructive criticism, I really don’t have anything for you—just a couple of formatting suggestions. The larger font of the second half of the story made it a lot easier to read, especially against that dark background. Also, I had a little trouble finding the story itself; Laura’s directory post links to an empty portfolio label, which I assume you changed to “project revision.” If that’s the case, you may want to think about putting a note or link on that empty portfolio page to direct traffic to this page. But nice job on the story itself, and good luck with the rest of it!
Thank you for you comments, Jenna. Coming from you, that is a real compliment. I have enjoyed reading your stories. I have tried to address your formatting concerns. I appreciate you coming by to check it out.
DeleteRhino,
ReplyDeleteWithin seconds I was into your story. The way you grab the reader as if you are talking directly to us is incredible. I felt like you were giving me a piece of your mind and telling me I am the chosen one, it was super powerful. Also the way you use description within your story was really good. There was never a moment I was not following along with your story. I have not seen anyone write their story the way you did and so it was a nice surprise. A few things I would change is the formatting as well that was stated above. Some of your font was different than the rest and it sort of threw off the look of your story. It would look neater if every font and everything was a similar color. Also I could not find your story as well and as long as you fix that than it will be perfect. You did awesome and I cannot wait to see what you do next.
Anna, you are too kind. I did not notice the font sizes being different until you and Jenna pointed that out. I appreciate you coming by to help me out. I have read your stories recently as well, and I am a fan. Come back later, and let me know what you think.
DeleteHi Rhino! Wow!
ReplyDeleteI am remembering the ways to give feedback and I am trying to pick a single moment in the story where I felt the 'wow' factor, but it was the whole time!! Your story grabs the attention of the reader right off the bat! I love the rhetorical questions, they made me think and wonder. Your cryptic writing style gives the experience a sort of spooky and suspenseful feel, which is a really cool concept when you think about story telling. You made me excited to see what you were going to say next! The only thing I would change would be the font and formatting as others have mentioned above. That's such an easy change, and will make a huge difference! Awesome story, and I can't wait to come back and see what else you do!
I am truly astonished by your story! It really blew me away. Right from the beginning I liked the fact that it did feel like the story was talking right at me. Not only that, but it also felt so personal, like it was just towards me. I think you also did such a wonderful job adding graphics to your story. They really helped me visualize everything as you were telling the story. So I had an idea for your transitions for the different voices. I would in general change maybe the style of the text. Maybe another color that is a little easier to read. I would also add more to the title because I was confused at first where the story was. That would just help the readers locate the story quicker. Other than that I think you did a phenomenal job and I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the future episodes.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was truly such a great read! Your introduction to this story was the perfect introduction to grab a reader’s attention. I was also a fan of how this sotry was formatted. I liked that there were pictures after reading a paragraph or so. It made it seem like a real book I was reading. The images you picked were intriguing, and made me think. They fit your story. I was wondering where the questions stopped, and the answers began in your story. You could perhaps break your bigger paragraphs into smaller ones to make the flow easier to understand. I also think white font color on the black background would’ve made the words stand a bit more. Other than that, I truly enjoyed this story. It was very different and unique. I think you’re an incredible writer, and if you worked on some of the minor things, this story would be even better. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw that your portfolio was broken up in stories that built upon each other, I immediately got excited. I really like how you chose to utilize several different stories and Indian publications while aslo making them flow in a series. Most portfolios are not as interrelated when it comes to moving from one story to the next. I really loved all the images that you used to illustrate the story. I believe that this is the perfect concept for all students to adapt, because, sometimes, when reading huge blocks of writing, the reader begins to trail off. With these images, I was able to stay intrigued and influenced by the content as I was being draws in by the pictures. I think that it is so interesting that you developed your story from a simple, daily occurrence that we all can identify with as students. I can't image what I would do if someone started talking to me through my computer saying that "they've been watching me." I like this implementation of scare tactic and how it feeds on the psyche of the reader.
ReplyDelete